Reprinted from Twitter with permission of the author.

Unpacking some stuff this morning and figuring out Next Steps.

It leads to the next random thought: There is a real reluctance among survivors of rape/assault/abuse to approach the mental health community for support in some cases. I have ABSOLUTELY felt this way. i was thinking about why that is, and I think it is this…

When we are in crisis, particularly this crisis others have an impulse to want to CONTROL something, anything. The perpetrator, or cause of the crisis, is not available to direct that impulse toward. So that impulse is directed at the person who is in crisis around issues of control.The mental health community is not immune to this impulse, you could argue that attempting to control its patients is one of its reasons for existing. Historically, the mental health field has committed quite a few atrocities, particularly against women and marginalized communities. Some of these old attitudes still exist.As survivors, even if we don’t consciously know this, we kind of know this. So out of fear of having some of the very last bits of our autonomy stolen from us, we avoid the mental health community. There’s also the burden of an additional stigma to consider.

My point is, we have to come to therapy/help on our own time, under our own agency. If you choose to go there, SHOP, research. If the therapist in questions gives you a bad feeling, drop them. In short, I think if there’s any advice I have to offer, it’s ask for and accept help, but you’re not obligated to accept just any help. The thing that’s dangerous is that when we are in full blown crisis, we don’t necessarily have the cognitive wherewithal to discern.

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